Our story takes place in the seedy town of Vedusaville, known to as it’s habitants as the “Green Room”; it’s lack of cleaning reminiscent of the streets of Philadelphia. Our two friends, Parroty and Pandi are making their way slowly to the facilities, not noticing Simba, who was sitting in the shadows.
Simba makes his presence known, surprising our two friends… they know of the danger that lurks in the “Green Room”, and do not want to experience it first hand, as many have done in the past.
Hello… boys..”, says Simba to the two boys, who are quite scared out their minds. It seems as though they won’t make it to the facilities in time. “Hu… hu… hello… Simba…”, says Pandi to his deviant brother. Parroty, finding some courage, replies with some attitude, “Whatcha want, Simba?” “Oh my dear brother Parroty, must we squibble?”, asks Simba. “Squaple, Simba, Squaple”, says Pandy. Simba, in his impatience replies, “Otay, whateva, whateva! I have some good stuff here guys, some really good stuff…. take a look!”
Simba shows his merchandise to the two boys… two Jolly Ranchers. “And look, they have your names on it guys! Ya gots to buy it! Ya gots ta!” The two boys stare in awe at the two candies, remembering how sweet it tasted in their mouths, but knowing quite well its close to their dinnertime, and those candies would certainly ruin it! “Simba, you can’t read, how would you know what they say?”, replies the ever smart Parroty. “‘n, ‘n, ‘n how can we pay for it?”, says Pandi. “Umm… you could serve me… fer… fer… ferever!”, said Simba, thinking that kind of payment was more or less fair.
Meanwhile, the deputy of Vedusaville, Chips, watches intently the ongoing deal between the three, knowing very well that Pandi and Parroty are too level headed to buy such items. Especially from Simba, who is known to have ‘tested’ his products before hand. “Simba, Simba, Simba… when you ever learn?”, ponders Chips. “If I could find your mistwireeous beni… beni.. benefactor I could put you away for good… but now I hafta take you in!”
Chips pulls out his radio and calls for backup…
Out comes his modified 1988 Barbie Ferrari, armed with lazers, and a rocket launcher.”Enough for a dru…err candy bust”, Chips thinks.
Chips hops into his car, and proudly dons his badge. “Now I’m ready. Simba, you’re goin’ down!”
Meanwhile, Simba is having no luck in selling his wares. “It’s wet!”, Pandi complains. “It don’t say my name!”, says Parroty. “It has a J in it, and my name don’t have a J!” “But… but guys come on! It’s good! I know it is!”, Simba pleads desperately.
“No sale, Simba!”, says Parroty defiantly. “Yeah! No sale!”, echoes Pandi. “That’s IT!”, screams Simba. “No one EVER says … says… says no ta ME!!!”
The boys whirl around to see Simba has pulled a gun on them! “You two’s ain’t goin’ nowheres!” Parroty, still in shock, replies, “but… I gotta go to the bathroom….” Pandi, realizing the danger of the situation, asks, “Simba, can’t we all… jes’ git along?”
“Heckz no!”, Simba says more calmly. “I’m jest gonna git rid of yous two, and then I’m gonna eat these candies meself, and …and …and I’m gonna git rid of yous two… and stuff!”
Simba is suddenly blinded by a powerful spotlight, it’s glow more powerful than the several small artifical stars which make up Vedusaville, and hears someone behind the lights bark “HALT!”
A gunfight ensues! Simba tries to stave off Chips’ attack with his hand gun and oversized hat. Meanwhile, Chips keeps Simba at bay with his array of weapons.
Simba, having expended his weapon, bolts from his hiding spot, and starts running as fast as he can, with Chips in hot pursuit!
Simba continues to run with all his might, but is slowed by all the candy he ate. Chips, in the meantime quickly pulls up to the fleeing Simba.
Chips leaps from the car, and handcuffs Simba! “I gotcha now!”, crows Chips, as Simba pants hard, exhausted by the run. “Your donkey is mine!” Simba stopped listening to Chips boasts, as he was no fearing the impending doom.
Chips throws Simba on the back of car, and radios into base, to the head honchess. “I got im, Mommy! I got him!” he exclaims gleefully.”Chips, I got some good stuff! If you let me go, I’ll let you have some for free! Honest!”, Simba pleads, in a last attempt to escape punishment.”No way, Jose Martinez y Ruiz y Hidalgo de Rivera!”, cries Chips.
Chips and Simba arrive HQ, also known as the smaller couch.”Chips, you did some nice work. Couldn’t have done better myself”, says Mommy to Chips. “Thank ya mommy!” says Chips happily.
“Now as for you, young man”, says Mommy sternly, “you are another matter all on your own. How could you?” “How could I what?”, says Simba. “Haven’t I taught you to NOT sell candy to anyone!?” “Yeah! You a good mommy! I love you soooo much!” “Simba! Then where did you get that candy?” “What candy?” “You know what candy!” “Huh?” “WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CANDY?” “Candy? I want candy!” “Simba, answer me!” “I dunno!” “I’ve had it with your shenanigans!!!”
THWACK! THWACK! The thwacks resound as Mommy repeatedly spanks Simba for his misdemeanors.
Later that night, Simba and the mysterious benefactor, the Godfather contemplate the day’s proceedings, as to what went wrong, why, and how it can be adjusted… and as to what candy to push next time so that the children will never refuse…
…and what to do about Chips.